andrew shiels images & creations
  • Hipstamatics
  • iphone
  • Hipstamatics
  • iphone

Searching For Beatrice

My grandmother Beatrice, a ghost-like memory from childhood, suffered bouts of moderate to severe depression and attempted suicide at least once. Among boxes of photographs taken by my father in the 1930s, I found a single portrait image of her. It was the first time I had seen Beatrice in middle age. All my memories were of an old woman and what little I knew of her came from snatches of conversation overheard between my parents. My mother had a poor relationship with Beatrice, whereas my father, her only son, was devoted to her in a way that aroused jealousy. For me, Beatrice represents the lost years between the two world wars. Years historically eclipsed by the inhumanity of the battlefield, economic hardship and the horrific implications of technological progress.

In my father’s collection of photographs, there are no sweetheart snapshots, no female friends, no evidence of relationships other than fraternal associations with school peers. Therefore I chose to intermingle his images with randomly selected vintage erotica, representing absent girlfriends and the complex tension between his devotion to Beatrice and attractions to other women; pages from a music book (Beatrice played piano in her early years); and versions of the found image of Beatrice who commanded and controlled his world.


The whole represents an attempt to illuminate the dark decades between the wars and my regret at never having the opportunity to enjoy a relationship with my grandmother who died when I was still a child.


Searching For Beatrice is available by clicking here.

All text and images copyright © Andrew Shiels 2016